I was gathered around a fire pit in a friend’s yard. I sat with six of my closest friends, men I deeply trust, men who know my heart and the truth of my being. I love sitting around a fire. It feels primordial, something that calls to my ancient humanity. Something done for generations provided a way to connect to one’s “tribe.” It is a space where sharing vulnerably about one’s life, challenges, and victories comes easily. It is a space free from judgment. As the night wore on, our conversations shifted to the heart of our lives: work, family, marriage, relationships, finances, those forces that shape us by challenging us to be authentic, loving, and present.

One man shared that he was moved by what a priest shared at a funeral he recently attended. The priest said that “love seeks union.” Those few simple words resonated deeply and gave voice to our collective feelings.

As conversations often do, this one shifted to the forces driving people’s decisions and how those influences shift across generations, millennials, Gen X, and beyond. Each shaped by their own unique experiences. We were all curious about the general shifts that compelled a particular generation to postpone marriage, have children, and purchase a home, all life events that were familiar to us.

There is a lot of contention and debate about the impact of news on our lives. It isn’t a reach to say that the news we consume influences our lives and decisions, both long and short-term. Some of that influence is not always obvious and manifests in subtle, unconscious ways, compelling us to turn in a particular direction when confronted with an important life choice. It’s like an unconscious whisper that finds an expression in the conscious part of our brain.

Updates on the economy often dominate the news. Information about the stock market, interest rates, and inflation is pervasive. These issues shape political debates, economic policy, and, ultimately, the quality of our everyday lives. These metrics and the forces driving them aren’t just abstract numbers; they directly and immediately impact our well-being. Far from trivial, they serve as critical indicators of the health of our society and the world. Sure, they are important. But they are not the truth.

Inflation is often talked about as if it was determined by some unpredictable force of nature. It’s not. Inflation is the byproduct of people making decisions without concern for their impact on our lives. The concept of “the object is rare, so let’s charge more” is an idea based on greed. What kind of person thinks only of themselves and not the good of humanity?

When I hear or read about these economic indicators, they’re often portrayed as if they are detached, powerful entities that hold sway over our future. It’s as if we must offer sacrifices to appease them, hoping they’ll grant us the prosperity we depend on. It reminds me of a live animal sacrifice I witnessed in Bolivia, performed to summon the rain needed for a bountiful harvest.

Many news sources often end their segments with the most recent stock market indicators as if by reciting them, like a prayer, the spirits that inhabit them are placated for the moment.

What driving forces ultimately influence all the economic indicators? Simply, it is all of us. These “indicators” are reflective of where we are collectively as a culture and society. They are a communal zeitgeist. They are an unconscious agreement for what we choose collectively for ourselves. Ultimately, we are in control of those choices; they just need to be made consciously with knowing awareness of their implications. As a society, we have acceded our ability to decide what we need to sustain ourselves to some disembodied entities.

We don’t live in isolation. There are always implications to those decisions. It’s not always immediate or obvious. As a culture, we rise together, and we fall together. We all need to be deliberate about the decisions and agreements we make. Our lives are not only about ourselves or the need for corporate profit.

It is essential to our lives and to the evolving nature of our humanity to make choices not only for the benefit of ourselves but also for society. Why would we not want prosperity for everyone? There are sufficient resources today to meet everyone’s basic needs.

Who in their right mind would want to settle personal or societal differences with war? A mechanism for resolving perceived grievances that deliberately inflicts pain and suffering on other people. I’ve written about an “us and them” perspective that is all too easy to embrace when, in fact, when you injure another person, you ultimately injure yourself.

How do we each restore ourselves to a deeper sense of our own being? How do we find a way to connect to those in our community and maybe begin to realize we need to save more than just ourselves?

One of the other men sitting around the fire shared some insight about a cultural imperative embodied by the Māori, the indigenous peoples of New Zealand. It is called Whanaungatanga. Whanaungatanga institutionalizes relationships, kinship, and a sense of tribal connection. It is created through shared experiences and working together and provides people with a sense of belonging. It includes a priority to include everyone in a community.

So many people live in isolation today, replete of any connection to the community they live in or the world they inhabit. This might be a simplistic view of a very diverse and contentious world. I’d rather put my effort into improving the quality of life for everyone than on what we all subject ourselves and others in our culture to. Social media and the news need an emphasis on inclusion. I vote for the establishment of the Department of Whanaungatanga.

Amidst the chaos and uncertainty of life, I remain open to Grace and the gift of my life.

If you have any questions, please email me at garymerel@gmail.com or call 732-208-2836. Also, please visit my website at leanintoyourlife.net