In past blogs, I’ve shared that my partner and I spend our winters in Tucson mainly because of the exceptional cycling opportunities. On average, we ride around 150 miles a week, taking advantage of the diverse terrain, which includes riding through the mountains, the foothills, and a unique feature known as “The Loop.”

Officially called the Chuck Huckleberry Loop, named after the county administrator who conceived it, this 137-mile network of bike and pedestrian paths encircles Tucson. On weekends, especially Sundays, the Loop gets busy. On a recent Sunday, my partner and I set out on a 50-mile ride, using the Loop to reach the foothills. The sun was shining, the temperature was already in the mid-60s, and view of the mountains, as usual, was spectacular.

As we approached a section of the Loop, we found ourselves in a convergence of walkers and cyclists traveling in both directions. The mix of people in such close proximity quickly led to some tension. Tempers flared, harsh words were exchanged, and I’ll admit, I may have contributed to the frustration. In retrospect, all that was needed was a simple expression of patience and understanding. Saying, I’m sorry could have defused the entire situation. The last thing I heard as I rode away was, “You’re an asshole”.

That morning, my need to be right overshadowed the beauty of the ride. I chose conflict instead of connection. Neurologically, the human nervous system has a greater capacity to process negative emotions. It is often the default. At some point in our very distant past, this reflex was a survival response. Considering our current times, this impulse tends not to be in our best interest.

Looking back on this experience, I can easily understand the extremely polarized times we live in. At that moment, we all wanted the same thing: to get by and enjoy the day. Yet we were all invested in defending “our turf”, giving rise to everyone’s righteous indignation.

I found a quote from Gabor Maté, the author of The Myth of Normal, that helped me better understand what happened. The quote is as follows. “We are steeped in the normalized myth that we are, each of us, mere individuals striving to attain private goals. The more we define ourselves that way, the more estranged we become from vital aspects of who we are and what we need to be healthy.”

Righteous indignation is often the fuel of conflict. It is fascinating that many people get so quickly invested in a point of view that that is not grounded in any objective truth. Our minds, like an attorney, find evidence to support whatever it is that has caught our attention. That contrived proof then becomes the foundation of an entire belief system. Which in turn takes on a life of its own. It gathers momentum, accumulating other like-minded people around that belief system and, in turn, fostering an “us against them” mentality. It’s like to trying to appease a fabricated god, the tribe assembles, hoping their offerings are enough to win its favor. Tribalism is not conducive to maintaining anything other than a life walled off from a greater sense of community and belonging.

It is an understatement to say we live in polarized times. I am left asking myself what I, as an individual, can help diffuse this self-imposed tension. I don’t want to get swept away in the undertow of a social current that exhausts my ability to maintain my own equilibrium. For me, it is about a change in consciousness. I need to see and experience the Divine nature of creation. It is all inclusive, it is the everything of everything. That includes two trillion galaxies in the visible universe, the mountains of Tucson, the music I love, my friends, my gorgeous granddaughters, me, you, everything. It is my experience that we are made in God’s image. We are what created us. We all arise from the interstellar dust created 12 billion years ago and infused with consciousness.

It is my experience that hate and exclusion foster nothing but the same. They resolve nothing. The cosmos leans towards the support of life and love. The arc of time and evolution seems to prove that.

I Want to share two last quotes. They help me find connection in a time when there seems to be so little. “Love is the movement of innate intelligence through our earthly lives” a quote attributed to Amoda Maa.

The second quote is based on a question asked of Carl Sagen. The question was: ” What does it mean to live a finite, fragile life in an infinite, eternal universe?” He answered, “We are the means by which the universe understands and explores itself.”

Despite the circumstances I might find myself in, I strive to make inclusion, compassion, understanding, and love my first response.

Amidst the chaos and uncertainty of life, I remain open to Grace and the gift of my life.

If you have any questions, please email me at garymerel@gmail.com or call 732-208-2836. Also, please visit my website at leanintoyourlife.net